The Bagel's in my Soul

Some say the bagel goes back to the Romans

Others say it comes from Krakow, Poland

Regardless, bless our daily breads

Hamotzie lechamin h'aretz

There's a Yiddishe Neshama in that roll with the hole in

Now the bagel dough is formed into a ring

And it is boiled before the baking can begin

That taste and chewy texture

Never fails to get ya

But its more than that you betcha

For baked in every bagel is all Jewish suffering

The bagel's in my soul

For richer, for poorer

To have and to hold

I feel safer and I feel calmer

With a bagel as my armour

There's a Yiddishe Neshama

In that role with a hole

'Twas with a stale bagel

That Cain slew Abel

You thought it was rock

Well it was not it would appear

It was the with stale bagels

That the Children of Isragel

Built the pyramids

(and that was without any schmear)

You can keep your chopped liver and gefilte fish

And frankly chicken soup is not my dish

The bagel is my favel

And when I'm gazing at my naval

It looks rather like a bagel

With middle-aged spread that is

The bagel's in my soul

I say pish to the knish

And the Bially leaves me cold

Though they're sold in every plaza

They're not your's sir they are our's sir

There's a Yiddishe Neshama

In that role with a hole

What is the reason for the hole?

I hear you ask

Is there a something like 'Just So Story'

Let me remind you this is not

One of Mr Kipling's tarts

And though bagels are exceedingly good

Mr Kipling might have burned them all if he could

No the hole in the bagel

Is not explained by fable

It's the hole in the Jewish psyche

The searching, the returning and the yearning

For the right to be

Dr Freud was a Jew

Dr Jung was not a Jew

And both of them were partial to a bagel or two

Dr Jung saw of course

An ora borus

Dr Freud we might assume

Saw an entrance to the womb

The bagels in my soul

When I'm stressed

Or I'm depressed

I take some comfort in that roll

It's an edible pscho-drama

It's a quote from the kaballah

There's a Yiddishe Neshama

In that roll with a hole

The bagel bakers local 338

Was a union that was based in New York State

And they set the minimum wages

Of the yiddish bagel bakeries

And controlled all the stages

From the flower sack to the plate

But like the railroad/ did to the canal

And like Uber to the black and yellow taxi

Along came a machine that was not their pal

That could make a three hundred bagels in an hour

And you can't compete with that amount of flour power

And though I'm less enthusiastic

About a bagel wrapped in plastic

And it isn't quite the same as it used to be

And though its steamed not boiled

And not so tightly coiled

It's still - a bagel

That's the nature of assimilation for you

And a Jew's got to chew hat a Jew's got to chew

The bagel's in my soul

In the deli on the telly from CarmelliWarm or cold

From Golders Green to Ghana

Every fireman every farmer

Feels the Yiddishe Neshama

Put a candle in a bagel

And bring it to the table

To complete your birthday celebrations

Take a dozen mixed bagels

And thread them on a cable

And hang them in your hallway for your Christmas decorations

The bagel's in my soul

Bring me a box

Cream cheese and lox

In a basket or a bowl

It's nutritional nirvana

It's medicinal marijuana

Feel the Yiddishe Neshama

Of that role with a hole

And so in conclusion

I hope you now have seen

That the bagel is the queen

Of jewish cuisine

The Danish have their Danish

And other cultures much the same-ish

But you cannot get more haimish

Than a bagel for your breakfast

for your lunch and for your tea

And when we were starving in the desert feed us Lord we cried

And glory halleluja it rained bagels from the sky

Poppyseed and sesame

And cinnamon blueberry

Gluten-full and gluten free

Spelt and flax and rye ,

Chocolate chip and pumpernickel

On Bleeker Street they sell the middles

A festival of cholesterol - from which you may well

Yidle didle didle didle die

The Bagel is my Soul

For richer or for poorer

To have and to hold

Presidents Putin and Obama

Not to mention Nettenayahu

There's a Yiddishe Neshama

In that roll with a hole

Beyonce and Rhianna

The Queen and the Dalai Lama

Feel the Yiddishe Neshama

In that roll with the hole

PRESS PLAY!